Emptiness

I do not feel, I do not see, I do not hear. My senses have already faded into a far distance that I can never seem to reach.

I do not know what I am doing.

My eyes scan over inky ants that crawl all over the page, but I do not understand what they are telling. My ears pick up all whispers and murmurs and babbling, but I do not comprehend the logic behind all those sounds.

I do not know my purpose.

I do not know what anything means, because everything ceases to have a meaning. There is no meaning in hatred, in love, in joy, in grief. No meaning.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I do not know anymore.

Advertisements

Willing to Die For Each Other

Pyramus and Thisbe were neighbors and were in love, but their parents didn’t permit them to see each other anymore. There was a tiny fissure on the wall that connected their houses; they used it to tell each other everything.

(painting info: “Thisbe” (1909), by John William Waterhouse)

Then one day, Pyramus proposed that they escaped the town together. He said, at the fissue, “We can’t do this anymore! You know the white mulberry tree by the stream? Let’s meet there and leave the town.”

It was basically disobeying their parents’ order, but the young lovers didn’t care. To them, love was everything.

Passing the whole day is like passing a whole year, but finally the Sun had set. Thisbe, veiled and cloaked, slipped out from the door of her house and ran toward the direction of the mulberry tree. Just when she was about to settle down, a lion appeared; apparently it wanted to drink water at the stream.

Thisbe was afraid; nevertheless, she ran soundlessly into a cave nearby. But she dropped her cloak along the way. After a while, the lion came; it saw the cloack, and it teared the cloak with its bloody teeth. When it didn’t find food, it left.

Pyramus arrived a while later, only to find the torn, bloody cloak. Tears streamed down his cheeks. He blamed himself for proposing the escape; it was because of him that Thisbe died. Thus, he took out his sword and cried, “Let every lion on this mountain eat me until I’m guiltiless!”

He walked toward the white mulberry tree and said, “Accept my blood.” And Pyramus inserted the sword into his chest. His blood seeped into the soil and was absorbed by the tree, and in turn it made the white berries purple.

At this moment, Thisbe walked out from the cave. She saw the tree from faraway, but she didn’t understand why the fruits had changed color until she saw Pyramus and his sword. In great sorrow, Thisbe sobbed, “Pyramus, please wake up. I’m Thisbe, Pyramus.”

(painting info: “Pyramus and Thisbe” (1795), by Andreas Nesselthaler)

At Thisbe’s name, Pyramus opened his eyes one last time to look at his beloved, and he closed his eyes forever.

Thisbe held up Pyramus’s sword, saying, “Death has taken you away from me, but he shall not separate us, because we shall lie in one tomb. Dear tree, your branches and trunk are filled with the blood of one of us, but now you will receive the blood of the second one. We will be remembered this way.”

When she had finished, Thisbe fell onto the sword tip. The gods heard her prayer. The parents of both Pyramus and Thisbe heard it too and mixed the ashes of Pyramus and Thisbe. The fruits of the mulberry tree turned to rose color, in order to symbolize the dead lovers.

Something we learn from this story?—that’s why the mulberry fruits we see these days are in a rosy color.


via Disobey

Deucalion and Pyrrha

Here’s how it happened: Zeus, the Lord of Universe, thought that he should make the human race better by drowning the world.

Almost every living organism was drowned. Mountain tops became islands, but the people who got to those islands died due to starvation.

But two people—Deucalion and his wife Pyrrha—survived; they drifted to a random mountain top. The first thing they did when they landed was to pray to Delphi, Pan (god of nature), and Themis (a goddess of the sea) to thank them.

Zeus was looking down from atop his home; he saw water, the “islands”, and two selfless humans praying, and he thought the flood was enough.

The flood retreated. When Deucalion saw everything, he said, with tears, to Pyrrah, “Look around us, we are the last man and woman on the world. I am not my father, Prometheus; I cannot make mankind.”

They came to River Cephisus and washed their face. Then they walked toward a shrine of Themis, kneeled, and prayed, “Oh Themis, how can we appease the gods? How can we save our kind?”

Themis was touched when she heard their prayer, so she spoke to them like a oracle, “Walk out of my shrine, cover your heads, and throw your mother’s bones behind you.”

Deucalion and Pyrrha did not know what that meant. Pyrrah exclaimed with tears, “How can I throw my mother’s bones? Forgive me, goddess.”

Deucalion thought for a while and said, “Either I’m crazy, or ‘our mother’ means Mother Earth. Her bones are the stones.”

Even though the two of them were still doubtful and scared, but nothing bad would happen, right? So they did as Themis said.

(picture info: “Deucalion and Pyrrha,” by Lilian S. Hyde)

They threw stones behind them. The stones became bigger, and eventually became man’s likeness. The part of the stone where there was wet mud became visceral flesh, while the dry part of the stone became bones. The stones thrown by Deucalion became men; the ones thrown by Pyrrha became women. Therefore a new generation of humans arose.

via Visceral

New Start

Well, guys, I’m sorry for not posting for a long time.

During the past few weeks, I’ve been thinking. I guess I should start something new.

So I’ll share stories from Greek myths from now on—using my own words, of course. Please don’t criticize me for not accurately telling the stories, since every storyteller has his or her own style.

Anger

My protective personality clouds my eyes to see anything except the one who tries to take my friend away from me. This morning I brushed my teeth so hard (because I was so pissed off) that the bristles on the toothbrush are bent.

My life seems like a joke: people I love belong to other people, people I want to befriend with are befriended to other people, people I try to save are saved by other people. Most annoying of all, I see my friends as my only, and yet these other people see our relationship as “only friends”.

But in my heart, I go way beyond “only friends”. If someone is actually willing to talk to me about life philosophy, politics, and other matters on this world, and if he is so similar as me, I would transcend the “only friends” level. What I really want is to connect on the spiritual level, while the other people are just interested in looks.

I hope he understands that I am taking our friendship seriously, instead of being a girl who just want to flirt with cute-looking guys. I also hope he can distinguish between those who really want to get to know him and those who just want to flirt with him.

via Toothbrush

My Film’s Trailer is Out!

My film is all about flipping over the “traditional” view on gays.

(roll down to watch trailer if you don’t want to see my babbling)

One day, the co-director of this film, Paul, came and asked if I was interested in doing the Kinsey scale test, which measures how “gay” or “straight” I was. Naturally, both of us got “equally homosexual and heterosexual”—which basically says we are bisexual.

This test could be inaccurate, of course, but while my friends did the test, I noticed that more than half of them denied they were attracted to their own sex and were somewhat repulsed by the idea.

I can imagine. My own parents never ever talked to me about sexual orientation and stuff. Once my mom and I went shopping, and my mom commented on a celebrity who didn’t look manly, saying that he looked like a gay. I argued with her, not because I liked the celebrity, but because my mom was holding some serious stereotypes of gays.

Plus, I didn’t like the way she said the word “gay”; as if it was an embarrassing topic or something.

I don’t like homophobia. I don’t like traditional values (my mom isn’t traditional but hey, everyone has an opinion).

Subscribe to Apollo Workshop on YouTube if you are interested, so that you will see the film first-hand!

Traditional